regurgitation news agency
Trading markets around the world reacted in shock and anger to the agreement among leading world powers to ban both the import and export of bullshit. Unnamed sources in China almost came out and said that the communist nation is one of the signers of the purported agreement.
Standard and Poor’s 1500 gainers showed media stock plunging while a source with the U.S. Treasury Department, speaking on condition of anonymity since no one has decided who to blame, termed the deal “…exceptionally risky…”
U.S. President Donald Tweety claimed that hoarders are only hurting the cause and warned that they will be punished. “No matter how much you have, someone can always make more..”, he added.
In Canada, no one did a thing. Sarah Palin addressed a supermarket parking lot full of disgruntled manure salesmen in Akron, Ohio but was shouted down by Roseanne Barr, who had flown in from Miami to address a convention of near beer devotees.
In Stockholm, Sweden, people got drunk. Everyone at FOX News had a corn dog.
Across the Atlantic, the Queen had a good day without relieving herself for the second week in a row. The French, largely exporters, said that they had been asked to sign the agreement but, instead, said up yours. Italy, insulted by being ignored in negotiations, had no comment. Latvia farted.