Close Cover Before Striking

Sometimes, especially before I’ve had coffee, my mind is unsettled about where we all are and the state of the world. It’s difficult when you don’t know how to feel about things and what is right and what is wrong. At those times, I am ever so thankful to have Media and Expert Spokespersons to help me shape my thoughts.

For instance, I should have realized that most of us are happy and content after The Euphemisms, full of good cheer and love for our fellow humans and their pets. Compassion and generosity should rule the day. Happy Whatever It Is, everybody. And poor little Scott Boras. Here is a man who works tirelessly for otherwise vulnerable athletes, helping to secure a future for their families, safe from the ravages of applying for food stamps or having to own a 20 year old car. Having Carlos Correa as a client offered hope to little Scotty that maybe someday both he and Carlos would enjoy the fruits of their labor with a long contract for baseball services that would bring several quotillion dollars to both of their families. As a person who has once broken a tibia, I realize that there are long term effects that must be considered. Fortunately, I am guided by the media, who have assured me that the New York Mets and their insurers will not go out of business if they make the wrong decision and that people should continue to do their duty and buy tickets.

I have also been assured, thankfully, that it is okay to worry about violent hits in the National Football League but that only deranged right wing conspiracy theorists would ever begin to suggest that cardiac arrest might be attributed to any sort of vaccine.Saint Fauci should never be doubted. Forgive me for allowing that thought to enter my brain. The fact that, in 1976, the Swine Flu vaccine was withdrawn by the Center for Disease Control after adverse reactions equal to about half the rate being experienced now with Pfizer and Moderna vaccines should be ignored. I need to concern myself more with the upcoming elimination of defensive shifts or whether or not the Astros can repeat.

Also, the fact that Elon Musk is now getting all of the headlines and air time that Donald Trump was getting just a few short months ago should be no cause for worry, any more than climate change or inflation. I should just buy gold and eat more imitation nachos from Taco Bell. Okay. Musk, by the way, now owns Twitter, giving him the honor of owning at least three of the most over rated, unnecessary businesses in the world. My feeling has always been that only birds should tweet. That thought, of course, leads us right back to Saudi Arabia. Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, the authorizer of dismemberment, has been one of Twitter’s largest shareholders, having invested $300 million back in 2011 before millions turned to billions. Maybe Scott Boras should talk to that guy. Already pro golfers and futbol stars Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are toiling for the prince. Maybe the prince can buy the Giants and get Correa into the fold. Anything apparently goes in the wacky world of petroleum and professional sports. Are we ready for the Riyadh Olympics?

Another way that Media has come to the rescue is by consistently assuring me that, even though to my eyes it looks as though the end is near, people like Rob Manfred have things completely under control. The days of cocaine, steroids, and Rose are gone. The games of strikeouts, walks, and pitching changes every inning are going to be conquered. The Oakland Athletics will build a stadium, possibly not in Saudi Arabia, by 2035. Larger bases are on the way. 2023 will mark the beginning of a new Golden Era in baseball. No more glue on pitchers’ hands. City Connect uniforms will delight all the fans. I’m getting enthused. Correa will play somewhere for some length of time. Brandon Crawford is still around, as are Freddie Freeman, Max Scherzer, Nolan Arenado, Justin Verlander, and Francisco Lindor. Hope springs eternal, no matter how much garbage we have to listen to or read.

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