Another Packed House

Sometimes, when I am not quite awake and not quite asleep, I get the feeling that I’m just in the middle of a dream. When I’m really awake and making espresso it will all go away, right?  No, man, you had better try going back to sleep. The dangerous world really did get even more dangerous. The Ignoramus-In-Chief is still looking for someone to blame. Can’t talk about Clinton or someone will bring up Epstein. The Amazon Rainforest won’t be there to bail us out of this one. The Green Berets are refusing to invade the bat caves. Larry King won’t answer his phone. The Pope has his own problems. Fauci is getting higher ratings. People testing  today won’t know if they are positive or negative for two weeks unless they work in the White House or play baseball.  Ah, yes, baseball.

Wait, though! The other night, while I was sleeping, they established universal designated sitters! No! The worst part of that is that everyone is happy about it. And even John Smoltz says he likes  the runner on second base to start extra innings. Oh, Lord, take me now!  And you know what I’m going to say about relief pitchers having to face three batters. The bullshit story is that they are trying to make games move faster. That’s what  polite people call disingenuous and what folks in my neck of the woods call happy horseshit. Many of you are familiar by now with the Baseball Anarchy remedy for long games, which only really bother people who get in for free anyway. That is, ten pitchers per roster for one thing. For another thing, let’s deep six the Ridiculous Replay Review. The idea seemed good at first, but then it got implemented. Gosh, maybe that portly fellow with indigestion made a mistake on that out call at first base. Let’s have a look. Well, it’s anything but instant, even when the call is obviously right or wrong. No, we have to make a long distance call to New York or Calcutta or wherever the replay gods hang out. Then someone has to wake them up and refill their beer steins while they watch the tape. Then they send their decisions via Morse code to all the ships at sea and one of the ships uses a carrier pigeon to send a message to the proper ball park and someone there phones the umps. Many fans have been conceived in less time than it takes for the average replay review to be consummated. So it’s bizarre but we have baseball except in those places where too many players have been infected. Plus, I’ve been water boarded enough to accept it all, even the post season that now includes almost as many teams as the NBA does. I’ve seen the first two hits in the career of Chadwick Tromp and that was fun. I have seen  Johnny Cueto and Max Scherzer pitch. I have seen  Cody Bellinger make several outs. I have not seen a Madison Bumgarner snot rocket and I don’t care. It may not last very long but I’ll take it, even if it includes Joe Buck and that awful Taco Bell commercial  for the Grilled Cheese Burrito box that hurts my stomach, Let it roll.baseball anarchy logoBig Klu

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