Around the Metaphorical Horn

It is impossible for those of us cursed with an insatiable hunger for baseball news to get through a day without being inundated with manic speculations concerning the uprooting of major league rosters that will be occurring in the next few weeks. What great fun we all can have! We can pretend to be management material for a multi-million dollar business but, instead of fantasizing about replacing,say, those slacker truck drivers with self driving robotic vehicles that always show up for work ready to roll, we can imagine ourselves having enough cash on hand to “rent” or perhaps even “own” a guy like Madison Bumgarner, who might be that one addition to our team that will get us into that wondrous land of fame and even more cash, the playoffs! Of course, these fantasies can change with every passing day. For instance, in the case of Bumgarner, what if our new dude isn’t very good anymore? MadBum is just a little over 30 years old, but he really hasn’t been very good since 2015, so he may end up plodding along with the rest of his San Francisco teammates, pining for the good old days while still maintaining a good credit score.

While we are on the topic of roster additions, Manny Machado, a cinch first ballot Hall of Jerks candidate, has turned yours truly into a San Diego Padres hater all by himself. Well, maybe not hater, but I don’t wish them well. For decades I was neutral about that team, but no mas.

Summer is here and it’s time to feel good about some players who are bringing smiles to our faces. Max Scherzer, the old school pitcher with the occasional black eye who is keeping the Washington Nationals within shouting distance of the Atlanta Braves is one of them. Also, just about that entire Braves team, an invigorating collection of youth and experience. Josh Bell and Brian Reynolds of the Pirates are giving the Pittsburgh fans reasons to show up, or at least turn the tube on. Does anyone else still call it the tube? I meant the big rectangle. The Minnesota Twins are giving American League Central customers a reason to not ask for their money back. Hunter Pence, no relation to the stone faced clod of wayward marl who rides in the car behind the slanderer in chief, has been given a chance to revive his career in Texas and has come through very pleasantly indeed.

It’s feeling like 1955 again. I mean, there isn’t a grandfatherly general in the White House, and not everyone is buying a Chevy. On June 21 of that year, however, the Yankees and Dodgers were in first place. Brooklyn’s record was 47-16 after ace Don Newcombe moved his record to 12-1 by defeating Warren Hacker and the Cubs. The score was 7-2 in 11 innings and Big Newk went all the way. Hacker was a slouch, being lifted with two out in the eleventh. Roy Campanella was batting .339 and hitting clean up for the Bums. They had a 12 game lead over the second place Cubbies after that game. The Yanks had a more modest two game lead over the White Sox after running their record to 43-23 by beating the Kansas City A’s 6-2. Mickey Mantle hit his 17th home run. The looming World Series between those two teams is the only real resemblance to 1955 but it does seem to be what’s coming. It would be the first such meeting since 1981, another year in baseball infamy.

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