We might just be reaching the peak of the Era of Analytics, emphasis on the first two syllables of that word. Everyone has studied and learned the catechism: loopy, launch angle swings, pitchers throwing as hard as they can for as long as they can, buying Tommy John insurance, miles per hour obsession whether hitting or throwing, on base percentage et cetera ad infinitum.

Heretics are beginning to assemble, however. His Eminence Justin Verlander is a skeptic. We are not teaching pitchers to pitch the whole game anymore. That’s old school rubbish. Pitchers batting is way long ago now. Bunting might make a comeback, but I don’t think it is being taught anymore. Home runs are losing their luster as spectators yawn waiting for walks and strikeouts to be reduced. Runners are being stranded after reaching third base with fewer than two out. Things got better last season with the “speed up”, although pitchers aren’t getting much rest between pitches, batters, innings, or seasons. If your child can’t learn to hit balls over the fence or throw 100 mph, send him or her to med school to learn arm, shoulder, or elbow surgery. This is the 21st century, nimrod.

There are a couple of things I’ve noticed in the first quarter of the 2024 major league season that have me bothered a bit. Oh, I’ve noticed that the Philadelphia Phillies are kicking ass and taking names and also that Shohei Ohtani apparently does his own bookkeeping, but, no these are other, perhaps less significant things. One is, why do batters always have something in their back pockets now? What would Ted Williams say about that? I didn’t play anything close to professional baseball, but when I was trying to hit a pitch I needed to relax, feel comfortable and have some balance. I didn’t want a wallet or car keys or loose change upsetting the balance. Now nobody minds that. Maybe it’s part of the “speed up”, which has never affected between innings commercials. They don’t want a batter reaching base to have to wait for someone to bring them the oven mitt, even though it would be an opportunity to say that “…this oven mitt delivery and shin guard retrieval is brought to you by Door Dash.” More important than that, this marriage of MLB (and other pro sports too) with the gambling vampires is outlandish and dangerous and no one seems to care. There is now even ESPN Bet. We can see the odds not only of Kansas City overcoming a 12-1 deficit after six innings but also the over/under on how many Jack in the Box ads we’ll see by the seventh inning stretch. Genuinely disgusting.

The thing that is most bugging me though is another thing that has been spawned by the analytic bunch. Patrick Bailey has been one of the bright new talents to come along in baseball. He is a gamer, a smart player, and infinite fun behind the plate. The “smart” people, who are kind of like “smart” phones, “smart” doorbells, and “smart” vacuum cleaners, have convinced baseball management that having catchers creep closer to batters and catch on one knee is smart. The motivation is to “steal” strikes for the pitcher by “framing”. That is probably worth 2.346 runs per season so it’s “smart”. Patrick Bailey is just one of several catchers who have been drilled by 100 mph foul tips and served time on the concussion injury list more than once. I don’t have a degree in physics but it is becoming obvious that this tactic is too dangerous and needs be outlawed. Careers are in jeopardy. Ask Mike Matheny.

On a brighter note, congratulations to, besides the Phillies, the Atlanta Braves, the Chicago Cubs, the Milwaukee Brewers, Cleveland Guardians and the Kansas City Royals for giving their fans lots to cheer about so far. Dodgers fans have been busy with their GO FUND ME account raising money to get a “smart” calculator for their designated sitter.