First Half Awards You Missed

Despite the preponderance of statistics these days in major league baseball, the general math skills seem to be a bit off. When they pause to play the all star game, everyone seems to want to call it the first half when, for most teams, it was actually the first 56 per cent. I sure hope people are more careful when they calculate all the metrics that go into determining Wins Against Replacement which, like quantum physics, I realize is extremely important even if I don’t understand it.

Anyway,we’ll go along with the first half business since it contains much more of the first half than it does the second half in order to present to you a Baseball Anarchy exclusive, the first half awards that you probably missed. Keep your slide rules at the ready.

D.B. COOPER AWARD: Josh Hamilton Runner Up: Dee Gordon

DORIAN GRAY AWARD: David Ortiz Runner Up: Ichiro Suzuki Second Runner Up: Bartolo Colon

MISSING CONGENIALITY AWARD: (tie) Rougned Odor and Yorvano Ventura

CHRIS BERMAN FEIGNED EXCITEMENT AWARD: Joe Buck

CONUNDRUM WITHIN ENIGMA AWARD: Clay Buchholz

PENTHOUSE TO OUTHOUSE PRIZE: the paper necklace goes to the Alhambra Angels

BEST NEW FACE: Francisco Lindor

WORST OLD FACE: Alex Rodriguez

BATTERY WE NEED TO SEE: Marc Rzepczynski and Jarrod Saltalamacchia

SPENDING OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY AWARD: (tie) all of the contract memorizing pundits at ESPN and FOX

Here’s hoping that the second 44 per cent has lots of thrills and chills for you. Actually, if we add on the post season, maybe….

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